2011 Season comes to an end with a busy week

This week our season ended on Thursday November 3, but it was as positive as I can hope for. Tuesday night I hosted my first parent information night at Philip Pocock Secondary School. We were starting our parental education of cyber bullying. Constable Scott Mills, the Social Media officer of the Toronto Police and Crime Stoppers was a great addition to our parent session and I am sure the parents were intrigued with his point of view on cyber bullying. My evening ended quite interesting when a Runnymede alumnus introduced himself to me. When I heard his name I was excited because he was one of the last Runnymede football players that left a great mark for that team the year before I attended the school. He was disappointed to hear about the stuff that happened to me, and said had he been there, he would not have allowed that to take place.

On Wednesday afternoon I was a keynote speaker at the Gay Straight Alliance conference for 31 high schools in York region. When I was introduced, the MC asked the audience who was interested in organized sports and the response was not so overwhelming. However, after I talked about my experiences with bullying and where I am now and what I do, for the first time in a long time I received a standing ovation. I was very proud to have made a difference. Then later that evening our community team, made up of myself, Erin, Brian and our community intern, Blane, received more accolades at the 15th Annual Unforgettable Dinner for the Canadian Safe Schools Network. It was satisfying to know that not only is our program one of the most well known with bullying programs, but it was also supported by many who attended the dinner.

Game day would provide a very emotional moment for me and anyone that is close to the Argonauts. Earlier that week, I received an e-mail from one of our Level the Playing Field Schools telling me one of their players suffered an injury on the field that would end his sports career. Before the injury, Andre Durie had visited one of their practices to help motivate these players. He told the story of when he was injured at York and doctors told him he would never walk again let alone play football. The student's coach asked if there was a way that this young boy could get a signed ball from Andre. As I forwarded the e-mail to upper management and the GM and our head coach, Jim Barker, the response was overwhelming. After the game had ended Friday night which we won quite handily, Andre Durie was the star of the game and I knew that this ball would mean so much more. I walked the young man and his coach to the locker room to wait as the team made their way back in for the sacred team time after a game where only the team usually is part of. However, Coach Barker not only invited this young man and his coach in, but started his last post game speech by introducing the young man and dedicating the first game ball to him. The young man received a team signed game ball and more importantly words of encouragement from a number of players in that room. What an amazing experience for everyone involved. Since that day I received a number of e-mails from the school thanking us for that moment and to my team the Toronto Argonauts it was something that they were thankful to have been a part of.

Yesterday, I was part of the "Underachievers" Movember golf tournament. In assisting one of my coworkers in the organization of this tournament it is rewarding to see the number of people that don't hesitate to help out.

Finally today, Ricky Foley and I will be 2 of 7,000 people in all of Canada that will be participating in the 25th Anniversary of the Rick Hansen Relay for making a difference in our community. A proud moment knowing the significance of what Rick Hansen did 25 years ago.

Hope you all read my next blog of what that relay was like.

Winding Down

As of November 4th, the 2011 edition of the Toronto Argonauts comes to a close. I remember past seasons, being a part of the locker room when the season ended too soon. When you are eliminated from a playoff game, all you can think about are the "what ifs" "should haves" "could haves". It wasn't too long ago, this past May, when I spoke with a bunch of our current players and could feel the optimism going into this season. I feel their disappointment now and can understand it from my past. For me the early endings I experienced on the sidelines came in 1985, 1989, 1992 and 1995. Of those, the most memorable for me was the 1992 season when we were eliminated from contention of the playoffs and a bunch of us, including our owner at the time, John Candy, talked about the disappointment and the bright future that potentially lay ahead of us. It was a memorable evening having a few chuckles despite the outcome. That would be the last time many of us would get a chance to laugh with John Candy, as he passed away in 1993.

Ever since my transfer to the community relations department, the early season end comes with mixed emotions, as I now plan for the next important season, which takes place in the schools: my work to help prevent bullying. The questions always exists, "who will be back next season?" "what free agents will remain with the Double Blue" or specifically for me "who will stay in Toronto this off season and be a part of the Huddle Up Program?"

I hope to keep you all intrigued with the various stories that both myself and the Argonauts players will experience this off season. But one thing I can guarantee is that the issue of bullying seems to escalate every day and we have a big hill to climb in order to make a difference. Rest assured, I am one person who is doing everything I can to make sure kids in my community don't have to experience what I went through during my time in high school. And believe it or not, one person can make a difference. But there is power in numbers and we need all the help we can get.

The Follow Up

First, Thanks to everyone who read my last blog and commented. It was great to see that this writing isn't just for my self amusement. So in case some of you don't follow the Toronto Argonauts, we played the "Think Pink" game and on the field it wasn't a great success as the team lost 31-24 to the Edmonton Eskimos, however it was definitely a see of pink. It was actually quite symbolic the way the team lost. Down 31-3 in the third quarter things were bleak and the stadium had already started to empty. Then things changed, call it a collapse of the Eskimos if you'd like but there are always two teams on the field and rather than letting the Eskimos finish them off, the Double Blue made a fight of it. They fought back from a 31-3 deficit to fall one play short of tying it. This is very similar to the battle one fights against this horrible disease. Many people diagnosed with this disease can simply let it take over, however I know all the people that have survived or succumbed to the disease never let it take over their lives. Fighting until the end. For all those fans that attended the game, Thanks for your support. For me, I did what I used to do a long time ago. I looked up to section 212 to imagine my parents sitting in their seats give me a wave of approval for the job we did on and off the field. Fittingly there was my moms name just beside the section. As the comment to my blog said,there are always angels watching over me.

In less than a week I will be participating in Movember and yes I'll be asked whats with the moustache, or told "looks like you have more hair on your face than on your head", "you look like an adult movie star". Despite this I will start a new form of support to help those battling prostate cancer.

My next blog I'll chat about my trips to high school football practice where I realized why I do what I do.

A battle of the ages

I submitted the following post to go on the Argonauts Community Corner, however with all the content occuring it may not go up so my hope to have people read it here for now.


It was 2003 and here in Argo land financial difficulty saw a reduction in staff. I couldn’t believe that after almost 20 years I was almost unemployed. This wasn’t the only thing my family was dealing with that summer. My mother had gone through treatment for her bout with breast cancer and it appeared as though she was in remission. November we were playoff bound to Montreal for the East Final. I was there as the mascot and very excited because it was a Cinderella story in the making. Our dreams were demolished as a last second fumble was not called and the Als were Grey Cup bound. Just before I boarded the train home, I made a phone call home and heard something that made the loss miniscule compared to what my family would deal with for the remainder of the off season. While I was away my mom was rushed to the hospital and my mom’s cancer was back and had spread. It didn’t look good. I tried to be strong on the 5 ½ hour train ride home. That year, I was also asked to work at the Grey Cup in Regina. The people at the CFL during that year had said they understood if I couldn’t make it but my mom insisted I go because the Argos and the CFL meant as much to her as much as it meant to me. My sister and I shared the moments with my mom taking her to her treatments as my dad had passed away 4 years earlier. My sister and I had each other and that was what we needed to help us through everything. The Toronto Argonauts organization was classy enough to tell me that I can take as much time off as needed to be with my mom. I continued to do the Huddle Up program to take my mind off the situation and on April 1, 2004 my mom lost her battle to cancer. Then that following September, my wife’s sister-in-law lost her battle to Breast Cancer at a young age and left behind a husband and 2 year old daughter. I knew that there are many people that fight this fight with Cancer and share similar stories to what I shared. That’s why today’s game is so special to me and many people involved with the game. I can understand what Taylor Robertson, Wes Lysack and Kevin Huntley went through when someone close to them lost their battle. I commend everyone that helps support those in need. Everyone who is going through this dreadful disease whether they are fighting the battle themselves or they are family of people that are fighting it, needs support from everyone that’s why this is somewhat of a call out for all the fans out there to not only buy a ticket for tonight’s game but to wear pink and support the survivors, the people that are battling and those that have lost the battle. Understand that Friday’s game is not only about a battle on a field.
I know that my mom is looking down on today's game with my dad beside her and somewhat proud of cheering for the team and seeing how they are giving back.

“Make your passion your Life and No one can take that away.

To have Heart or Not to Have Heart. Who can answer that question.

There is a great truth to the fact that when you are winning there are never many issues regarding the team. However, when you arent in the winning column everything becomes magnified. The truth is that there are alot of factors that can lead to this.

In the media every mistake is discussed in great detail and fingers are pointed. Performance is always questioned when things go wrong. Not only in sports but in business as well. Why arent we meeting our quarterly goals? Why are sales slow? Why dont people buy the product? Our restaurant is empty. Why? It doesn't matter what industry you are in, someone has to be to blame. Often its the decision making at the top. What bothers me most, is when the integrity and heart of an individual is questioned. This was the case in a recent article by a colleague and former Argonaut, Sandy Annunziata.

The article was on yahoo sports on Wednesday and was a blog just as this one. It is an opinion and I am never one to say an opinion is wrong but the topic was dealing with the injury Cleo Lemon sustained during a home loss to Winnipeg. He cracked his teeth exposing a nerve, causing him to be sidelined for the rest of that game and the following game. This is understandable considering the possibility of causing further damage is great. In the blog, Sandy compares Cleo to the Winnipeg counterpart Buck Pierce. Categorizing Cleo as a person not "tough as nails" and missing an opportunity to inspire his teammates. In this day and age the notion is unsafe for youngsters.

I'm not taking away from the grittiness others have shown by playing through an injury risking not only their careers but the possibility of living a normal life because that is the choice of an athlete. However, I feel that the integrity and heart of an individual that has been sidelined dueto injury should never be questioned. If we could look into the desire and feelings of others that would make alot of our decisions in life more predictable.

Blaming a loss on a team because of their performance is fine but questioning their heart or determination is not fair. Imagine a high school athlete playing football sustains hit on the head which to many on the sideline looks as though it was a simple graze. This high school athlete has a history of concussions and in order to show his teammates he has grit he hides his concussion and makes his way back to the field only to sustain another head injury that forces his high school career and football career very short.

I have been fortunate to work around the people that decided to lay it on the line and to thm I tilt my hat. In fact, it was the decision of Matt Dunigan, Michael Clemons and Chris Gaines to play through their injuries that helped bring the cup home in 1991. But I never feel someones heart needs to be measured by their will to play injured or not. Moreso their desire to give their all out there. After all Cleo was criticized for not sliding on the scramble he got injured on.

If we were 3 and 1 I'm sure this wouldnt even be an issue.

Us against the World...even our own city!

I write this blog a little disappointed in the city of Toronto. After a few people read too deep into an ad that they interpreted to mean something that is the furthest from the truth. I say this because when a politician believed the Argonauts were sending a message of domestic violence in an ad that in its context referred to the sport of football.

Yes people are definitely entitled to their opinions. That is the beauty of freedom, however the opinions should come educated rather than judged prior to research. As a person who is very proud to ensure that youth never have to go through the bullying I endured, I know for a fact that the ad we placed was meant to demonstrate the grit this team has to defend their home field. But the home field we protect has resistance within our city. All the ad critics had to do was look into the lives we have saved while sending the bullying prevention message through our 10 year Huddle Up Bullying Prevention Program. Instead, they tried to make it appear that we condone violence towards others, off the field, in particular, in the home. The ad was removed nonetheless but I still feel very disappointed at the principal. The removal of the ad was the right thing to do to show that we respect what people think. However, I wonder if any of the people that complained know how many years we have been in the schools helping and mentoring youth. Or that the players participating in the program are required to conduct a police Vulnerable Sector Report as per our own program requirements and this is not requested by the schools we attend. These people are probably people that haven't even seen an Argonauts game and have little idea that we do over 500 community appearances annually.

To those that understood or know what we have done to help youth, I thank you. To those that complained, there might be bigger fish to fry in this city such as a football league that has just arrived exploiting women in lingerie playing the sport of football. Why can't they just play football? Why do they need to be in underwear to have it accepted, but then again I guess our ad is more controversial.

I hope anyone who reads this blog will understand my frustration and realize that all I'm trying to say is that maybe if some of the good things we have done received a little more attention in this city I wouldn't feel so disheartened when something like this happens.

Thanks for reading.

The Day after- The Night before

Well its been far too long since my last blog both on the Argo site and on this site. I actually sit here at the end of the off season and the day after our first pre- season game of 2011. 31-12 over the Hamilton Tiger Cats. One would say pre-season isn't one of the finer things to look forward to and as a matter of fact winning or losing them has no bearing on the results in the playoffs. However, there are times that winning your pre-season games is a huge lift for any team. Last year we won our first game by a few points against the tabbies. then lost the second game against the Als. The previous two years were split as well. There are no trends in winning or losing the preseason games but I know that the team on the field Saturday had an air of confidence and attitude about them. I can say that that confidence and attitude that this city hasn't seen in sometime. Torontonians have a reason to be excited about one team this year.

I have just prepared for a two week getaway in the beautiful island of Hawaii. This will be probably the first time I have been absent during the season in a long time. I will be doing something I am quite passionate about aside from football. Scuba diving. I've dreamt of scuba diving and after a long hesitation, I have finally achieved certification and I am an advanced Diver and ready to finally do what I thought I would do as young child. Scuba Dive amongst the sea life of the Ocean. I will be doing this with my wife whom I am very excited to be able to share the experience with.

My hope is to be able to blog a few times while away in regards to the trip to Hawaii and then return to my blog to continue my life with the Toronto Argonauts.

Til next time.

Changing bullying one child at a time; Does anybody know?

On March 10, 2011 the US government set up an anti-bullying policy making principals responsible for students’ activities on and off school property including social media. There are some privacy concerns with this policy but in my opinion I believe that students should refrain from bullying behavior always, regardless if it's within the walls of the school or not. The fact that this issue was addressed by a Federal government signifies how important it is that we never sweep this under the rug and the the role social media plays within the lives of our youth of today.
The other day I was sent a “you tube” file that showed one boy being filmed while he bullied another boy that was seemed to be irritated by the situation. It wasn’t a surprise to see the boy being bullied retaliate and physically harm the boy bullying. Some would say that it’s the best way to deal with a person who is bullying, however there are a lot of negative consequences that could arise from that reaction. The actual bullying situation didn’t bother me as much as the bystanders that stood around to see this happening and do nothing to change the situation, even going as far as to film it on an electronic device. The unfortunate truth is that there aren’t any kids using an electronic device to show the internet world someone saving someone from a bad situation.
As we continuosly take players and cheerleaders to schools in the GTA we hope that we can make a difference in one child life that maybe that person that refuses to allow someone to be mistreated. Many people don’t even know about the number of students we have affected mainly because that’s not the information that is published or talked about in public. It is extremely rewarding to hear a school tell us how students talked about the issue of bullying after we have left the school because that tells me that the awareness part of our campaign is working. Not to mention the countless stories from kids via e-mails and schools sending us testimonials. In fact, at a couple of presentations a few students spoke up as to how they were currently being bullied and in some cases almost to a state of extreme depression. The good news is that schools are addressing these situations, the bad news is we need to hear more of the good news to diminish the bad.
Our latest addition to our facebook page the”Huddle Up” tab, will hopefully be the platform and voice students need. Each and every player that has shared his personal stories from the past and present such as Adrion Smith to Ricky Foley is always rewarded to hear how their message has been echoed in the halls and online. In fact, it was never unusual for a student to yell out the acronym “R.A.R.E” which was given to them at an assembly by Adrion Smith. This is the kind of thing that keeps our programs and players desire to be involved so strong. My hope is that we have more people using the internet tools such as our Facebook tab, as the voice of positivity and guidance instead of a weapon of bullying. Please help us by liking us on Facebook and demonstrating that our efforts are not in vain.

“Make your passion your Life and No one can take that away.

Imagine what if…….

Imagine what ifs are always part of football or any sport. What if we scored on the first drive, what if we just stopped them when it was 2nd and 10 or simply what if we made it past Montreal. The “what ifs” in sports are always great to think about, but harmless in nature. However, as I listened to one of Cory Boyd speak about his bullying experiences I began to reflect on some of the other speeches of former Huddle Up players like Chuck Winters who talked about choices and how they mould you for the future. He reaches the students by explaining how he almost never gave football another shot after University. If he never showed up for the Arena football tryout, he would have never made the team and been in touch with Rich Stubler who then brought him to be a part of our 2004 Grey Cup team. Even Pinball who throughout his football career was told you aren’t big enough. Then when he finally made it to the NFL he was released due to injuries. Had he not answered the phone call from Ralph Sazio of the CFL’s Toronto Argonauts he would have probably never been such a big part of our storied franchise, and there is no telling where we would be. Those “what ifs” are a key part of life and specifically our message to youth during the bullying presentations. Personally, if it wasn’t for a bystander stepping up for me I wouldn’t be here at all. Then not making the phone call to the Toronto Argonauts hoping they would have room for one more ball boy. Never would I have imagined that the call 27 years ago would result in me creating a 10 year bullying prevention program affecting over 250,000 students in the Greater Toronto Area. I would hate to think of the “what if” that person never spoke up for me in my high school.
I am quite sure that someone or something in your life has allowed you to carry on in some way and I’d love to hear your “what if” story with how someone or something changed your life.

“Make your passion your Life and No one can take that away.

Happy 50th Birthday Wayne Gretzky

For many of you who haven't followed the Argonauts until recent years, you are probably wondering what I would be doing writing about Wayne Gretzky's 50th birthday in an Argo blog. Well 20 years ago around this time, Bruce McNall, John Candy and yes Wayne Gretzky owned the Toronto Argonauts Football Club and put the team on the map south of the border.

Not only did these owners bring celebrity status to the city of Toronto, but they brought attention from our neighbours south of the border by stealing the Oakland Raiders #1 draft pick in 1991, Raghib "Rocket" Ismail. I remember the day like it was yesterday. The equipment manager, Danny Webb, called me and told me to turn it on the NFL draft, which is something that I historically never hurried to watch. As I turned the TV on, there was Chris Berman stating that "the number one draft pick has decided to go to the Toronto Argonauts Football Club of the Canadian Football league for a rumoured $4 million per year, the highest salary in pro football."

This of course became big news in no time. The owners earlier promise to make the Toronto Argonauts the talk of the CFL ws starting to become a reality. In June 0f 1991, the "SkyDome" had almost 40,000 fans for the home opener. This was one of the biggest regular season attendances in Argonauts' history.

That season, Wayne et. al brought such celebrities to the game as Marty McSorley, Dan Ackroyd and various other notables. The sidelines became a "who's that" attraction for not only fans but players and staff, such as myself.

People however began to wonder if the Argos were for real. Rocket was injured a few times during the season and despite the early 7 and 1 start fans wondered if we would sizzle out. However, thanks to the great leadership of Adam Rita and owners that spoiled us with gifts and treated us as though we were celebrities, we found ourselves in -18 degrees weather in the 75th Grey Cup championship.

Dramatically, we won the game with Hollywood-type scenarios occurring around the game, such as a player playing in his last game of football due to a career ending injury, a quarterback playing with a separated shoulder and a 21 year old rookie phenomenon that put all the naysayers to rest by taking a kick off the distance to seal the victory.

Here is where my memory of Wayne comes in. After the game, the celebrations began with champagne, tears and for myself, awe that I had won my first Grey Cup as a locker room attendant. As I went to my locker to change into other clothes, I realized that sitting away from all the hoopla in my locker was Wayne and Janet Gretzky. So I walked over and in my meek and timid voice asked: "excuse me Mr. Gretzky, I am just going to get changed" he giggled and said to me: "you have a lot of time to do that, for now just go and celebrate with the guys. Championships don't come as often as you hope so enjoy it while you can."

I couldn't believe that Wayne Gretzky actually talked to me. But I never forgot his words of wisdom because I have been able to experience seasons where I wondered if I would ever get another championship.

The next June I was privileged to be the last person called up on stage at the annual "Meet the Argo Luncheon" to receive my first Grey Cup ring from the owners which included Wayne Gretzky. Those memories will last a life time so I will end off by saying Happy Birthday Wayne and Thanks.